| just everything. |
[Dec. 11th, 2004|07:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | simple plan, it sucks. im guna kill jennie | ] |
guys this is a problem, i have another crush. like i totally hate to say it, but i am so afraid of everything. i am damn scared because i am not confident anymore. you would think, having a serious relationship in the past to base everything on that i would have some type of experience or pride in myself to get me motivated, but i dont even know what to say, about anything. i am so sure of this one that it scares me enough to cry because i cant say a word. i cant admit it outloud. im not dwelling on the past anymore, im not toally over it but i think that enough time has past that i cant finally regroup and remember that life goes on without ben because he was my backbone for a good half a year. i totally want this new boy, i have so NOT been myself, ive been so much more daring and outgoing then i have ever been in the past with ANYONE, and like hes totlaly not getting it. its just killing me it really is, but ive been writing some really good emo lyrics about it haha.
allys was ok last night. not the most fun ive ever had, but a good time. did some dancing with the eirn whom i love SO MUCH and had some deep convos with kris as we caught the cheater at the WEEGIE board *coughcough* haha oh man good times. just wait for the pictures after me and mogil stole mels camera, this should be hott.
can somebody kiss me? soon? thad be good thanks.
cast list goes up tuesday. if you see me crying do me a favor, dont say im sorry just hug me, and assume thats what its about. what the hell else happens on tuesdays? what a boring day.
<3 love you. xo.deee |
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| last night. |
[Dec. 4th, 2004|04:27 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  so boring | ] |
| [ | music |
| | brand new <3 | ] |
uploading some music for the ipod.
mels was the bomb diggidy last night, oh bitches, i was a clown whore tap dancer (aka columbia). much fun.
wish rich and josh would have shown up though, haha like rich was teasing me that they would. :0)
ok enough for now. ps bran new makes me cry like a baby.
oh man.
so bored today and tonight, i have no plans so i wrote alot, heres alittle taste...
"not that sort of girl. sober to the crowd. screaming of the drunk, the words drip off outloud."
leave some love on aim. i really need it.
and i need a boy. somebody be my boyfriend?
xo. deeeeeeee |
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| really long survey. read it if you please. its cute. |
[Nov. 30th, 2004|07:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  a wee bit insane | ] |
HAVE YOU EVER...
1. Kissed your cousin: when i was wee big
2. Ran away: tried
3. Pictured your crush naked: hehe. im nauty
5. Broken someone's heart: :0( im sorry
6. Been in love: once apon a time.
7. Cried when someone died: my grampie and matt shepard.
8. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: 2 many times
9. Broken a bone: Wrist and nose
12. Cried in school: mmhmm. oh bitch fights.
WHICH IS BETTER:
13. Coke or Pepsi: diet coke loves.
14. Sprite or 7UP: sprite i guess?
15. Girls or Guys: BOYS!
16. Flowers or Candy: candy. send me something sweet
17. Scruff or Clean shaved: alittle bad ass scruff is cute inless your like 2 feet tall.
19. Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes.
20. Bitchy or Slutty: slutty boys i guess? idk
21. Tall or Short: pref tall please, short is cute 2, but not more than an inch shorter than me.(im 5ft 6 so i guess i like tall boys)
22. Pants or Shorts: Pants.
WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX:
23: What do you notice first: eyes. i <3 light eyes.
24. Last person you slow danced with: ben in his den haha.
25. Worst Question To Ask: can we have sex now? (yes its been asked more than once)
THE LAST TIME YOU...
26. Showered: this mornin and again before bed.
27. Had Sex: in my head...lol...
WHO IS/WHAT IS (your favorite)...
30. Person You Hate Most: im not mean enough to hate
31. Best Thing That Has Happened: (4/11) yeah :0(
32. Color: magenta although i love lime green too.
33. Movie: ELF, and saved.
36. Cars: batman car. that thing freakin rocks.
37. Ice Cream: mint chip
39. Season: summer
40. Breakfast Food: shrek 2 cereal (im not a dork shut up!)
WHO:
43. Makes you laugh the most: benji.erin.deej and mj.
44. Makes you smile: BENJI, jared and my crush.
45. Can make you feel better no matter what: alex.
46. Has A Crush On You: not sure? afew myspace friends haha.
47. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: hehe mmhmmm.
48. Who Has it easier? Girls or Guys?: boys. we get a red friend every month.
50. Gives you A Funny Feeling When You See Them: my crush and my ex.
DO YOU EVER:
50. Sit by the phone waiting for a phone call all night: yes, it never comes when i want it.
51. Save MSN conversations: when someone is really sweet i usually save it.
52. Save Emails: only important ones.
53. Wish you were someone else: heidi clum would be good.
54. Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: nada i would def be a gay man haha cause i like boys 2 much.
57. Perfume: burberry.
58. Kiss: mhmm, one of my hobbies i have to catch up on.
59. Romantic memory: fourth of july, last year, WOW.
HAVE YOU:
61. Fallen for your best friend?: nope, dont date friends.
62. Made out with JUST a friend?: nahhh.
63. Been rejected: been there, done that.
64. Been in love?: sadly.
65. Been in lust?: hmm you mean like now?
66. Used someone?: god no, how mean.
67. Been used?: sure hope not.
68. Cheated on someone?: NEVER
69. Been cheated on?: NO.
70. Been kissed?: yup
71. Done something you regret?: yes. not in a dirty way though.
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
72. You touched?: jared. not inappropriatly haha.
73. You talked to?: mel.
74. You hugged?: britt rosen.
75. You instant messaged?: josh
76. You kissed?: ...
78. You yelled at?: srry mommie.
80. Who broke your heart?: bennie, but its repairing, dunn worry.
81. Who told you they loved you? ben, mel, chris, ally...wow i have a list.
DO YOU...
82. Color your hair? no.
83. Have tattoos? i wish.
84. Have piercings? my ears.
85. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? no but i know who i want.
86. Own a webcam? haha nah.
87. Own a thong? quiet afew.
88. Ever get off the damn computer? yeah. im a big fan of the a/m technique.
89. Sprechen Sie Deutsch? only barbie girl in german, dont ask.
90. Habla espanol? nope italiano signorina.
91. Quack?: HAHA while on the phone with jared.
HAVE YOU / DO YOU / ARE YOU...
92. Stolen anything? a chesnut from a store when i was four. (it rhymes!)
93. Smoke? no. ugh god no.
94. Schizophrenic? haha no.
95. Obsessive? nah.
96. Compulsive? dont they go 2gether?
97. Obsessive compulsive? now you r just trying to confuse me!
98. Panic? yes when i am really nervous or really have to pee.
99. Anxiety? alittle.
100. Depressed? when i think about the past.
..............
last cigarette: NEVER
last car ride: bus home.
last good cry: afew weeks ago.
last movie seen: ELF AGAIN!
last beverage drank: DIET COKE.
last food consumed: italian pasta stuff.
last phone call: ally.
last tv show watched: will and grace.
last time showered: this mornin. i thought i told you that.
last shoes worn: pink high top converse.
last cd played: Straylight c.d.
last item bought: chorale uniform. yeah i am cheap.
last downloaded: trying to download riches damn program grrr!
last annoyance: my mom. wow im nice today.
last disappointment: not hangin with mel last wednesday.
last soda drank: diet coke god damn it!
last thing written: diet coke god damn it!
last key used: !
last word spoken: you.
last sleep: barley last night.
last im: sporkin.
........
Who was the last person...?
You laughed with? josh. online.
You cried about? kristyn.
You cried with?: ally.
You danced with? ally yet again.
You punched? i hit ian. haha sry but you deserved it.
You bought something for?: jeggy, his birfday.
Have you/are you/do you...
Hot? ive been told. i dont believe peoples lies.
kissed a boy/girl? boys.
Current Clothes: nothing! haha jk, jeans and a 3 quarter shirt.
Current Mood: yucky. my fummy is sick.
Current Hair: drooped infront of my eyes. all ashlee simpson sexified.
Current Annoyance: some stalker from kp. ahh go away!
Current thing you ought to be doing? writing.
Current Desktop Picture : bunch of my fav bands.
Current Favorite Group: crosby,stills/straylight...many more
Current Refreshment: umm for the fourth time i still have my diet coke. although now i am feeling pretty guilty about giving the same answer so i might go get some orange juice to healthy things up.
Current Worry: my grades.
Current Crush: hmmmm...well it starts with a ()...haha nahh i might tell you if your really nice.
Current Music: something rich sent. i lioke it.! |
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| hmmm. |
[Nov. 29th, 2004|09:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relieved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | suite judy blue eyes. love this song <3 | ] |
school was okay today. suprisingly i got alot done. had 2 frees which made me molto happy, and 2morrow i have a free 8th.
yeah so the new boy... his a/m has been on all day. i really wish he'd come back i love talking to him, hes real sweet always and always makes me happy even on bad days. nevertheless, he hasnt been on the whole day and i have no desire to call his cellphone, we arent that close, just kinna want a cuddle buddy. thats one thing i really miss about my last relationship, we were the best cuddlers. and i love hugs to. i could really use one now.
next time you see me, suprise me with one, k?
anyways i did alottsa homework and it is totally time for some dessert and chillaxing. call if your mel, and IM if you are "boy" haha although boy doesnt know that hes "boy" so idk, just IM i guess lol..?
miss my camp friends alot latley, esp deej.zito.and mj. i love and miss you all RIDICULOUS amounts, dont get me wrong, its just today i have a sudden urge to run through their bushes and paint "I <3 You" on their driveways in permenant chalk. they should make that haha id be addicted.
alrightie out for now. so excited for fri. umm mel what do you want.?
sat i wanna see old school alot, maybe josh and i will have a will ferril party who knows? haha
xo. deedee |
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| some cuteniss stolen from mel... |
[Nov. 28th, 2004|04:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | ooh la la | ] |
| [ | music |
| | taking back sunday | ] |
YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (NAME OF FIRST PET + STREET YOU LIVE ON):
Jay Jay Donald
YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (NAME OF YOUR FAVOURITE SNACK FOOD + GRANDFATHERS FIRST NAME):
Wheat Thin William
YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (FIRST WORD YOU SEE ON YOUR LEFT + FAVOURITE RESTAURANT):
Last La Parma
EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favorite Spice + Last Foreign Vacation Spot):
Ginger Italia...(oooh sexy)
SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname + Town Where You First Partied):
day ray syosset
"FLY GIRL" ALIAS (a la J. Lo): (First Initial + First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name):
D. New
ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight + Any Liquid in Kitchen):
Lollipop Pepsi
DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favorite Baby Animal + Where You Went to High School):
Kittie Syo
BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate + Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink):
Cheescake Balees
SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name + Street Where You First Lived):
Renee Plainview
ROCK STAR ALIAS: (Favorite Candy + Last Name Of Favorite Musician):
Butterfinger Menzel...(teehee)
<3 wuv yous. xo. dani |
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|
| just saying hey. |
[Nov. 28th, 2004|01:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | alittle billy joel. | ] |
hey loves.
umm yeah havent typed much in while but hmm ive been writing some new stuff, nothing to good. running out of topics to write about. ive decided i need more excitement and inspiration, i write the best when i find something or someone i truely love.
think i have a new crush. idk yet though, its sorta new. im not like way serious about it or anything just alittle inlike. :0) but still sorta inlove with the past. if things evolve with new boy i will be really happy but i doubt it will.
alright time to fly. send me some kisses, greatly app.
xo. deeeeeee |
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| reading it back. |
[Nov. 23rd, 2004|09:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  def still horny haha? | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ...same song... | ] |
haha wow just read my last entry, i said kickass alotta times haha. new word of the day maybe? |
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|
| sorry guys. |
[Nov. 23rd, 2004|09:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | horny? haha | ] |
| [ | music |
| | behind blue eyes- the who * | ] |
hey loves. oiy i am SO SORRY for not updating in soo long its just like yeah, and ive become extremly obsessed with my myspace so yeah. but hmmmm... new news...
laramie this weekend; kicked ass. seriously i <3 youall. the diner sucked i got mad at my best friend and i was worried about benji who passed out onstage and yeah, it was a mess but the cast party kicked ass and the whole mess blew over. glad its over though.
tonight was parent teacher conferences, mrs. howell doesnt hate me! and connor said the nicest things. getting all good grades but falling behind a tad on work, oiy.
excited about oklahoma audtions, those should be hmm interesting lol and jeremys birthday fri. i seriously love that boy so much. ahh garbs is a kick ass emo cowboy :0).
mel and i have established that we are the most shallow people on the planet, no joke.
finally getting over ben maybe? although i miss like alot and i totally still have feelings for him...(.) found a new boy to like, riches friend, i want him to set us up alot, not to date though PLEASE no more relationships, unless it goes back to my old one!
i think thats the end for now. leave me some kick ass comments.
xo.day |
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| new lyrics. |
[Nov. 14th, 2004|09:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  creative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | writing my stuff :]] | ] |
we could build gardens in promises, rooting from the start.
as the seed evolves smelling of fariytale colone.
there was always the aroma whos never gonna grow,
planted in you. its finding [ home ] .:.
xo. dee |
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|
| weekend. |
[Nov. 14th, 2004|09:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | straylight run. thanks to garbs :) | ] |
wednesday. brooklyn was so fun. oh benji haha
fri night. a bowl of lovelyniss lol and lots of pool
sat night. was life. i miss you all so much, ahh i <3 camp friends.
my fav quotes.
benji* "i have to be careful about where i put him, i dont want him massaging my genitals"
mj* "when your balls drop it like new year, 5...4...3...2...1... happy new year, and then the ball dropsand its all over"
HAHA great time
<3 i have the sn i want but i dont have the guts to IM it. god damn it! lol
come see the laramie project, im in it! nov 18-20!
x0.day |
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| something new. |
[Nov. 6th, 2004|12:00 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | i wanna write. inspired :) | ] |
| [ | music |
| | my own :)) | ] |
charcoal defenses
burst into red.
explosions painted on
the sky.
the canvas of the night
and your.
mine <33 |
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|
| yuck. |
[Nov. 5th, 2004|11:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hmm awake? | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the early november. oo la la | ] |
great time at ericas tonight. wow guys.
trying to fix computer
writing alittle
editing my "to kiss list" IM me to see how you rank haha.
then bed maybe?
<33 deedee |
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| fixed computer * |
[Oct. 30th, 2004|05:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hehe dorkyniss | ] |
| [ | music |
| | tall as lions - acrobat | ] |
finally fixed my computer after a trillion years of no internet.
um yeah, ill fill you in.
* school. has sucked as usual (excepted bio thats always fun haha when ben comes as a raver and party boyz on miss battah and captain croacia tries to fly through the window) ahah i swear that class makes my day lol.
* laramie. is gonna be good you should all come nov 18-20
* kristyns. was pretty fun even though everyone was in oragy mode and i was wearing a nursing bra that made prunny boobs right after my socks got itchy and ally stuffed her shirt with them haha. o wow we r nuts :)
erin licks printers because scruffy likes polar bears. o wow i <3 that girl like tummy-haha.
missing usdan. um yeah who is coming trick or treating with me 2morrow? lol
*coughcough* zito and deej ?? |
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| my night * |
[Oct. 23rd, 2004|12:05 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  emo'niss | ] |
| [ | music |
| | bright eyes. | ] |
to amazing for words. i officially love my friday night crew i have decided that i am naming them the f2~crew. (friday fun crew) cause they rock super hard. o and fyi garbz i am in love with your bands and am so excited about jamming with you YAY! ian and ben r being wierd and i dont like it ugh w/e. goodnight all.
xo.day |
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| tonight/tomorrow? |
[Oct. 21st, 2004|10:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  </3 | ] |
| [ | music |
| | suite judy blue eyes | ] |
2day!
* school > pretty boring, no suprise tests though.
* jazz > awesomly awesome being that CAPS ran the whole thing lol.
* laramie > pretty uneventful.
* one acts > ROCKED! congrats to everyone esp alex and his cast! didz your cast was hilarious i am still laughing haha.
* eng project > suprisingly good.
------------------------------------------------>>>>
2morrow?
* school.
* laramie.
* nap break.
* crying over the scary movie that i so do NOT want to see!
<<<<<<-----------------------------------------------
</3 god i miss you SO MUCH.
"soon i'll be leaving you but you wont be leaving me..."
* sry boys my heart is taken, but i cant get it back, its stuck on you * |
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| cap and shit. |
[Oct. 20th, 2004|08:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | ooh thinking lamp. lavalishiss | ] |
on with mel. holy fuck am i excited, and musical theater kids that LOVE theater, dont make any plans for sundays lol.
xo.day
i know a secret...lol |
|
|
| .confuzzed. |
[Oct. 19th, 2004|10:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | yuckified. | ] |
</3
am i being stupid and immature.?
is it just me because for some reason everytime i try and patch the holes up the scars grow.
god am i confused.
to many thoughts for one head to hold.
so much to think about but i feel as though i need to talk to you rather then think it out myself. i need to speak my mind, and i need to hear yours.
i miss you, i miss you so much.
i cant stop missing you and i cant understand why i care so much. i guess its the first time i realzed how good we had it and how lucky we were and what luck weve lost.
i want to start over with you. i want to remember us the way we wanted each other.
i want to finally be thinking clearly.
and somehow in my crazy mixed up mind i know that i want you back and i never want to relive the end again.
am i being sillie and ignorant?
xo.day |
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| today. |
[Oct. 19th, 2004|05:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | wow no mood. atall. sry guys. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | something corporate- as you sleep. hmm my song? O YES! | ] |
went to school. that was alright, italian sucked and kinna ruined the rest of my day dance was fun. and larmie was cute as usual :D
bio grades are increasing gradually by 5 points but they should be increasing by hmmm...15 would work?
my 2 best friends r dating, life is made for the queer eye with the straight guy.
mel and ally are yuckyified at each other which is dumb because they obviously need to talk so.. TALK!
alrightie dinnertime then guitar. |
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| on the fone with the jarrie pooh. |
[Oct. 18th, 2004|09:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | ta ha | ] |
| [ | music |
| | jared | ] |
hello all. i am takling to the j-man on the tellie . o wow we r playing the guitar like mad people while talking, actually im talking hes playing but same difference. we want to make a band cause we r hip like that, if any drummers or bassest r interested or even guitarests give us a buzz. respond if you r as hyped as us! o baby.
peace out. day * |
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| THE ZANSTER * |
[Sep. 7th, 2004|07:13 pm] |
so today this 5 foot ten blonde irish girl, looked about 21 comes up to me on the first day of skewl and tries to convince me shes from thailand and is fluent in thai and ithican. and im like ithica is a college and a place there is no way that there is a language called "ithican". now on her way through the yellow brick road she drops her SHS ID card after tripping over a random member of the lolipop guild named switslana, and killing by accident a whole army of ants who were wounded in the battle of bolgaria. and im like woooah her name is erin zanfardino! does sound very thai to me!anway by some chance she shows up in my mail box at 3am and i hear..."its the ithican let me eat you bananas!" and she was angry cause apparently thats all ithicans eat! so...she busts through the door with green skin and starts belting wicked at 3am waking up my entire house! and im like dude, we must be long lost twins* cause only my specific DNA and molecule arrangement is capable of waking my hairy beast of a father up! WAAAH COOKIE MONSTER!...(cause we look so much alike ;)) and then just to finish off our day we fly to 7-11 and hit on some random hairy indian men and erins all like "yo indian men, whats with your twitchy eye?" cause guess what, it was twitchy! so all of a sudden he sprays his viagra up his nose and then smells his....umm elbow? p.s. make sure not to do a number 2 in your best friends kittys litter box...dont go there me and erin...were all over that litter, and roxy, (the kitty whos litter box she shit apon) was like "erin oss is hard like rock, white like snow, strong like bull) he sounded so much like arnold swortzanagar....and that was my day with this crazy zanfardino beast...
and go figures now we r inseprable!
<33 |
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